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Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’

How curious to find oneself married and at the outside of one’s acquaintance! I confess, it comes as a surprise to me.

In my early years, my social world was never one which would easily be described as large; however, in later years it has seemed to grow in away most pleasing. How very vexing to find myself once again a solitary creature! Entering my present state of bliss has, unfortunately, been quite detrimental to my place in society, I fear.  I am quite curious as to the cause of my being such a pariah amongst those I once called friends. My thoughts revolve around two likely causes–

Those of my acquaintance are likely to think me quite busy enough, after considering my relocation and many frustrations regarding the domestic sphere. The duties of running a household are enough to make any lady quite exhausted, and perhaps those of my friends who consider my company pleasant wish to not tax my time with what they fear may be seen more as obligation than as pleasure.

Where I once called upon friends and neighbors, I now merely go about my various occupations, not remembering that friendship must not onlybe enjoyed, but instigated and maintained by ALL principals as often as possible. My shameful neglect of my friendships is now serving to harm only myself, as all of my acquaintance are thoroughly delightful creatures who, unlike myself, make new friends quite easily. The glitter and thrill of new society has, I’m afraid, driven all thoughts of myself from their minds.

In either case, my present state is not to be envied. The solution presents itself quite handily, but is, I’m afraid, easier spoken of than acted upon. It seems I must entertain. Surely if I achieve the cultivation of a habit of hosting various soirees, evening parties, card parties, and other such fashionable gatherings, those invited will be delighted to return the favor of an invitation to pleasant society, and my current dilemma will come to an end. Happily, a venue for hosting fashionable society is presently at my command, as I have within the past week or two completed some improvements upon my westdrawing room which put the room much at an advantage. Unfortunately, my plans all depend on the social availability of my dear Mr. Elliot, which, due to his strong inclination to study the law, I find at present sorely lacking.

My dears, wish me luck!

I remain, determinedly,Yours, etc.
Mrs. Elliot

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My darlings,

We are officially less than a week away and I’m absolutely wretched because I am (as I am sure you all know) a horrid control freak…and now absolutely everything beyond this point is outside of my control!  If my relations choose to make an appearance and toss soup in the Prince of Wales’ face, I can do nothing.  If my hair dresser tumbles into the Thames, I can do nothing.  If the flowers fail to arrive, my gown gets stained/ripped/shrunk, or the entire party gets lost on the way to the nuptials, I can do nothing.

You may imagine how much this state of affairs pleases me.

In other unwelcome news, I’m off to my physician today for the Dreaded Exam singular to our gender as well as confirming all manner of arrangements for the wedding breakfast and ball.  A pair of events that, I think, do not at all go together in good taste!

Yours hurriedly,
Miss Kirk

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Dears,

Miss Kirk, I applaud you for having the good sense to select a dress before entering into the state of betrothal. A wise decision, and one likely to reduce the stress in your life. Miss Pevensie, I chose to be married in the dress I tried on first. My excellent friend Miss Wollstonecraft highly recommended it, and I commend her good taste. The only sorrow I felt was that I lacked the enjoyable experience of shopping for them longer; savor the experience. Registering for gifts is indeed an arduous process. Each time we did (as most young couples, we selected the establishments of Target and Bed, Bath, and Beyond) it took a number of hours and was truly exhausting. I applaud you for having made it through. (And the fact that you did them both on the same day is incomprehensible. I marvel at your stamina.)

Just remember, my dears, that there’s very little pressure. It’s only the most important day of your life, every minute detail of which will be captured immortally in millions of photographs. Do inform me of any impending loss of sanity and/or the ability to keep from killing people. I will endeavor to diffuse you immediately.

With all my love, sympathy, and congratulations,
I remain, Yours,
Mrs. Elliot

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My dearest girl,

Serenity?  Anyone?!

Serenity? Anyone?!

Again I’m in awe of your decision to be wed in May and again I offer my services because if you are as stressed as I am (and I imagine you are MUCH more) you deserve accolades to rival His Grace the Duke of Wellington!  I had no idea so much work went in to planning an event such as this and my mother, godmother, future-mother-in-law, and well meaning friends are forever alerting me to things I have absolutely forgotten to think of/never heard of before in my life.  Please write back as soon as you may and get my mind of this awful process by diverting me with stories about yours own, write explicitly as to interfering mothers for amusement and flowers for inspiration.  I meet again with my florist this weekend and am utterly at a loss!

More aggravating are the thoughts of our future maintenance since we will be living off my fortune until he should come into his own.  How provoking to be concerned not only with planning a wedding while one’s family is in Suffolk and one’s future is in doubt.  Mr. Rivenhall and I have found excellent lodging but we must wait to find out whether or not it will be made available to us.

I am the most impatient creature alive, as well you know.  And now I have to sit and wait.  And wait.  It’s the anticipation that annoys me, you understand.

Your Pathetically,
Miss Kirk

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“Tell me once and for all, are you engaged to him?!”

Sorry, my dear, I could not resist.  When you and I go shopping on the High Street today, we’ll do our best to help you resolve your indecision as to color and cut, among other aesthetic conundrums.  I shall call for you near Victoria’s this evening.  Adieu,

Yours conspiratorially,
Miss Kirk

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Oh my dearest girl,

I understand the shifting paradigm of marriage all too well these days!  I’ve spent the entirety of my life sworn against marriage and suddenly, without any warning, a gentleman comes along who seriously makes me change my mind.  How provoking of him!

I am at a crossroads, Mr. Rivenhall and I have begun discusses matrimony and it looks, my dear, as if I am shortly to ask you for your congratulations.  However I am utterly at a loss!  I’ve spent a lifetime actively not thinking about marriage and am I now suddenly to throw this blessed event together and make it a social success (to say nothing of economically sound and a wise choice as to my happiness)?  I’ve no idea what I’m doing!

Miss Lucas may have been a very prudent woman, but I entirely disagree with her assertion that "It is best to know as little as possible of the defects of one's partner."  Trouble!

Miss Lucas may have been a very prudent woman, but I entirely disagree with her assertion that "It is best to know as little as possible of the defects of one's partner." Trouble!

There are a hundred aspects to marriage that some ladies we both know did not consider prior to the nuptials, indeed I don’t believe a single rational question was discussed between, “Will you do me the honor &c…” until after the event, at which time various unpleasant revelations were made as to fortune, situation, and expectations of happiness.  Since I have the luck to be a woman of independent wealth and assured of Mr. Rivenhall’s affections I am not overly worried on these scores, we have been acquainted for such a time as to relieve my mind on these accounts. 

But we have now arrived at the point where he has told me he wishes to marry, hinted at speaking to my father, mentioned in a would-be causual tone that he has brought the subject up to his own family…but (maddeningly!) he has not once actually asked me to marry him.  I flatter myself I am supposed to be the person whose opinion on the subject should bear the most weight!  My family lives in Suffolk, the Orient, and Switzerland, as well as in this country, travel arrangements must be made and cannot be in a last minute fashion.  We must also combine our households, possessions, and expenses (a headache to consider if ever there was one).  In short there are things to be done, none of which can be accomplished in a hurried manner.  So why does he not ask ?

Men!  They think that just because they have decided something it happens without reference to planning or common sense.  The smartest men I know would be utterly incapacitated if the women in their lives took a leave of absence.

"Fanny, you have at last uncovered the true reason why I never chose a husband. I never found one worth giving up flirting for." - Miss Austen Regrets

"Fanny, you have at last uncovered the true reason why I never chose a husband. I never found one worth giving up flirting for." - Miss Austen Regrets

And now, darling, for the confessions.  I have seen the ring I want, begun looking at places where one could hold this circus, and (worst of all!) I have actually bought a dress.  Was there a more foolish thing I could have done?  I have become one of those women I despise!  But the truth is that I want to marry him, I have no idea how he talked me into it (he is rather sly in his own way, but if he were not I do not think I would admire him) but he has and now my hands are tied.  There is nothing else to be done until he actually asks.  And as much as one says, “I wish to marry you,” there remains a great gulf between that statment and the question, “Will you marry me?”

When he does ask, if I have not become too annoyed with him by that time, I shall say yes.  But in the meantime I am most vexed.  I have an awful suspicion that he may know it!

Yours disgusted with herself,
Miss Kirk

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There is a seven letter word that begins with the letter M and rhymes with carriage that I have avoided thinking about for many, many years.  When other girls were picking their colors, fantasizing over Mr. Right, and designing their invitations you could find me running in the exact opposite direction.
 
Dun Dun Dun Dun
Dun Dun Dun Dun

Don’t get me wrong.  Marriage is great, grand, wonderful, amazing, and (should be) very permanent.  I didn’t even want to think marriage until I knew who I was as an individual, could take care of myself, had (preferably) graduated from school, etc.  So I just kept putting it on the back burner.  Well, not even the back burner.  It was more like the idea was still in the freezer waiting for the day I would take it out and let it begin to thaw.

 
As a result, I tended to avoid really dating anyone.  Sure, I went on dates and ended up with more guy friends than girls for a while, but I made sure to push anyone away who had anything more on their mind.  The only trouble with this philosophy is that I’ve taken my independence, seen more of the world than most, and even got my degree.  I realized early last year that, other than the lack of a guy, I was running out of excuses.
 
The reason for the thought now?  Last night, my significant other of the past 6 months proceeded to measure the ring finger on my left hand.  I am excited, happy, and totally in love with the kid.  I’m just still shifting all of my paradigms.
Yours Ponderingly,
Miss Pevensie

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