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Oh my dearest girl,

I understand the shifting paradigm of marriage all too well these days!  I’ve spent the entirety of my life sworn against marriage and suddenly, without any warning, a gentleman comes along who seriously makes me change my mind.  How provoking of him!

I am at a crossroads, Mr. Rivenhall and I have begun discusses matrimony and it looks, my dear, as if I am shortly to ask you for your congratulations.  However I am utterly at a loss!  I’ve spent a lifetime actively not thinking about marriage and am I now suddenly to throw this blessed event together and make it a social success (to say nothing of economically sound and a wise choice as to my happiness)?  I’ve no idea what I’m doing!

Miss Lucas may have been a very prudent woman, but I entirely disagree with her assertion that "It is best to know as little as possible of the defects of one's partner."  Trouble!

Miss Lucas may have been a very prudent woman, but I entirely disagree with her assertion that "It is best to know as little as possible of the defects of one's partner." Trouble!

There are a hundred aspects to marriage that some ladies we both know did not consider prior to the nuptials, indeed I don’t believe a single rational question was discussed between, “Will you do me the honor &c…” until after the event, at which time various unpleasant revelations were made as to fortune, situation, and expectations of happiness.  Since I have the luck to be a woman of independent wealth and assured of Mr. Rivenhall’s affections I am not overly worried on these scores, we have been acquainted for such a time as to relieve my mind on these accounts. 

But we have now arrived at the point where he has told me he wishes to marry, hinted at speaking to my father, mentioned in a would-be causual tone that he has brought the subject up to his own family…but (maddeningly!) he has not once actually asked me to marry him.  I flatter myself I am supposed to be the person whose opinion on the subject should bear the most weight!  My family lives in Suffolk, the Orient, and Switzerland, as well as in this country, travel arrangements must be made and cannot be in a last minute fashion.  We must also combine our households, possessions, and expenses (a headache to consider if ever there was one).  In short there are things to be done, none of which can be accomplished in a hurried manner.  So why does he not ask ?

Men!  They think that just because they have decided something it happens without reference to planning or common sense.  The smartest men I know would be utterly incapacitated if the women in their lives took a leave of absence.

"Fanny, you have at last uncovered the true reason why I never chose a husband. I never found one worth giving up flirting for." - Miss Austen Regrets

"Fanny, you have at last uncovered the true reason why I never chose a husband. I never found one worth giving up flirting for." - Miss Austen Regrets

And now, darling, for the confessions.  I have seen the ring I want, begun looking at places where one could hold this circus, and (worst of all!) I have actually bought a dress.  Was there a more foolish thing I could have done?  I have become one of those women I despise!  But the truth is that I want to marry him, I have no idea how he talked me into it (he is rather sly in his own way, but if he were not I do not think I would admire him) but he has and now my hands are tied.  There is nothing else to be done until he actually asks.  And as much as one says, “I wish to marry you,” there remains a great gulf between that statment and the question, “Will you marry me?”

When he does ask, if I have not become too annoyed with him by that time, I shall say yes.  But in the meantime I am most vexed.  I have an awful suspicion that he may know it!

Yours disgusted with herself,
Miss Kirk

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